stress and balance

Im so stressed out.
What THE HELL??!?!

Im working full time, going to school full time, and cant fit everything fucken together. One day things are fine and on track, the next everything is in disarray.

If  i make plans, i cant keep them. I have too much school work and too much real work. My boss asks" are you in a bad mood" i say " no, im stressed. Ineed to get more homework done. I have school tomorrow." she doesnt reply.

I dont know what to do. I think i need to take a day off or something.

my boss just asked me "why dont you do your homework?" I cant focus here at work. Its too hectic. I cant remember what i read, when the phone rings between every sentence. Last week i did my math at work, but this week i have economics and english left to do. I cant do those subjects here.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

this is so hard. My head hurts.  My fingers are fidgety. I have anxiety at a level of 8/10. Later today it will rise to 10, when i get off work and  realize i have to do homework. (instead of relax) All the money i make is just going to go to college. Its not going to be a luxury cruise or anything like that.
I need my balance back. I need more time to relax and study. I need less time working.

Maybe I can just start later? I hate/cant do my homework when i get home. My head is full of 100 names and numbers of which i dealt with that/this day.

The only thing that really lets me relax is JOE. Thanks you baby for being able to do that. But once your gone, My head hops on a treadmill until friday night .It runs until sweat pores out of every orifice in the brain. I feel like my head is in a vice. I have cooking, cleaning, caring, studying, working, filing, discussing, answering, questioning, writing, friends to contact, and more. Im sorry if your a friend reading this and we havent talked. I litterly dont have time or peace of mind to be able to CHILL =(

the only way to slightly relieve some tension is doing this. Just telling someone or something what is going on, lets a TINY bit out. But still i can sit here and type all day about my stress. Im happy cuz im making money and going to school. But i dont really need to be working. Saving this money will just help me out in the future. I tried to talk to a bank person today about saving money for a cruise. He said to start a REG savings account. I told him i had one and wanted an account with more interest. He said you need atleast 10,000 dollars. I told him i have 150 and wanted 2000 in two years. that dumbass couldnt help me.

I need a psychologist. I need someone to talk to , to help me. I need help..........

if you are reading this, please tell me your ideas. I need some feedback. AND

Every fucken time i write a blog, send out a bulletin, send out messages, mostly anything on myspace, idont get a response. I get responses from bands more than the people that i know! Im sick of that shit. why are you my friend if you wont write me a simple letter? comment? Or even a reply? Why do i take my time with you people if your just gonna sit on your ass and pretend im not here? I have 12 comments out of 245 views. You 233 people CAN SUCK MY TITTY.

Im at work right now typing faster than mozart played the piano, and none of you even care. People dont have consideration any more. People dont have common sense, or logic. Im getting so sick of people. I see 100's a week, and these people tell me their life stories. You people reading this couldnt care less than a rats ass about others and their lifes.

Atleast i have some sympathy. Im sick of your apathy. Im sick of your complaining about your petty problems. Just deal with them like a real person and cry alone at night. If your someone who i talk to, like Doug, or Scott, or Kevin, then all this bullshit excludes you, of course.

But do you hear what Im saying ?
Do you see what the world and it's people have come to?
Do you know why I write this?

I write this because it matters. I write things because i feel like there might be someone out there in a better situation than me, that might feel some empathy . But if noone reads this I Dont care. It wont be another STITCH in the section of my brain that is labeled "stress"

FUCK YOU if you dont comment.
THANK YOU if you do.